Inaction Speaks Louder Than Words

Hello Walter,

My husband and I got married a few months ago. He is a wonderful man, and we love each other dearly. My husband is 26 years younger than I am, I am 66 and he’s 40, we have known each other for a very long time. We both are very sexual with each other, but sometimes my willy just does not want to cooperate. I am 66 damned. But I always try to take care of my husband sexually. We both are usually ready in the mornings before he goes to work, or at least try to. I do take care of him even when mine won’t work. We are monogamous and neither of us wants anyone else. Now for my issue.

My husband has a job where he drives around to clients a lot and is able to come home, use the bathroom, grab a drink, and also sometimes for lunch. There are times where I could not perform in the morning with my husband, but a few hours later, I may watch porn and start to jack-off and my willy stands up. There have been a few times, he has come home to grab a drink or whatever, and there I was with my manhood up and I’m jerking off. He gets upset, thinking I did not want to do anything with him before work because I wanted to wait and do it myself. We have a strong relationship and we have talked about it. Granted I am the top, he’s the bottom. So when I cannot perform, I cannot fully pleasure him. But I do try. 

We have made a clone with the “Clone Your Willy.” But I know it’s not the same. We do love each other very much, he will come in the house, see that I’m taking care of business, say sorry and leave, or just send me a text, saying let me know when you are done, so I can use the bathroom. He would come in and leave without me knowing. I can tell it bothers him, and I always lose the mood. Granted I cannot control it when willy wants to work and when he doesn’t. When we do have time, I do take a pill and he works amazingly well, I just wish willy would work every morning. Sometimes times we just want to get extra sleep and we do not try. He would go to work and later on I would take care of myself and sometimes I do like to do it alone. There are times he has not come home, but when he does… 

Any advice?


Older and Busted Alone

Dear OABA,

Congratulations on getting married! That’s major and that should always be celebrated. Now on to your question. You can’t go on like this. It seems to me that when it’s on it’s on. But when it’s not it’s quite off. Is there a way to save up your juices and release them when your partner is ready to play. I get you’re no spring chick. But clucking your cock alone after denying your partner, due to performance issues/anxiety, is sending the wrong signals. Is it more important to get off period than it is to get off with your partner?

I dealt with a similar issue with my current boyfriend. He’s in his forties while I’m slightly younger. And sometimes it doesn’t perform like I want him too. Then there are moments when I walk in on him jacking off to porn. He had an iPad in one hand and a penis in another. Apple doesn’t mention that on the website. But I digress. It bothered me. That’s an understatement. It pissed me the fuck off.

I stormed in, making passive aggressive and snide comments and critiques. Then I stormed out, feeling rejected and inadequate. I was so emotional like Whitney Houston. Those weren’t my finest moments. But my insecurities spoke more about me than him. And his masturbatory sessions said more about him.

I learned not to place my self-esteem in the palm of his greasy hands. This is why your husband feels this way. But in time he will discover how to get over those emotions. You can change the trajectory of your relationship, by curbing your temptations. Or at least, meet in the middle of those masturbatory mornings.

We also have to find a way to keep him up like the stock market. When I say him, I mean your penis. After 40, men experience an exponential decrease in testosterone. Adding sweet potatoes and cabbage to your diet can be your new superpower. My boyfriend swears by it.

Eating healthier is proven in a Netflix documentary, Forks Over Knives. It intimated that men well over 60 who adopted a plant-based diet experienced an erection for the very first time in years. Apparently, they had poor diets and miserable wives.

Adding in exercise helps too. It seems regular workouts help with most things, from mental health to matters of the heart.

Also, you need your rest too. Seven or more hours a sleep a night is essential for your body to work out the kinks. You’ll feel refreshed too.

And finally, practice makes perfect. Use it so you don’t lose it. But don’t abuse it. If you’re still having trouble while ensconced in a warm embrace?

Save face by using your mouth. If you can’t beat it, eat it.



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