Do You Believe in Love at First Sight?

Dear Walter: 

I read some of your work recently and it was enthralling. Raises interesting points and a fresh view on dating, love, and sex. I guess one question I have is that in the LGBT community of color is it realistic to believe in love at first sight? Once physical attractiveness fades then what will hold the flame of attractiveness and keep it lit?

Or would it be safe to say that it’s lust at first sight, seeing as how lusting doesn’t necessarily have to consist of only physical attraction but you don’t know them well enough to love them? The idea of love, yes but the emotional connection would still be developing. When you’re past the 20’s, is it wise to keep a hopefully romantic view on love or a biased selective aspect of it?

-Love On The Brain

Dear Love On The Brain:

Love at first sight? Sounds like someone may be trying to justify a week of fucking. I’ve been there at 17, 25 and 28. And now that I’m older and so much wiser. I believe that lust can lead to love. And casual sex can evolve to a committed relationship, it just takes time. Instant relationships have the shelf life of seafood. But a nice mix of sex with dates can lead to something more savory.

Playing in the game of love takes balls. You have to be brave to put yourself out there with no guarantees that you will ever get the love you’re looking for. But if you don’t try, you’ll never know.

At any age, I’ll be an eternal hopeless romantic. That’s how I’m built. I love being in love.

I say invest in romance, one day it’s going to pay off. It has too. Remember, the Law of Attraction: like attracts like.

Also, be the best version of yourself.

Now go out there and give it your all.



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  1. Richard Pruitt

    Most everyone is looking for love. Likel most we get distracted by lust.looks.body. money. And often disregard the important things like goodness. Of the ❤. Life goals and the warmth that individual should have radiating from within. I belive in love capturing. My heart. It take time.

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