I’m gay male. Can I ask your opinion on how soon you think is too soon to ask someone to marry you? We both have had open conversations about it, and know what each other want in a wedding. We just had our 6 month anniversary, and we live together now. At any rate, I bought the ring because he’s always mentioning it but when I talked to one of his friends/coworkers he thinks it’s too soon. Now, I’m debating to take it back? I know lots of stories of people getting married after 3 months and being happy and stay married but no, I’m just so confused and nervous.
—Dying To Get Married
Dear Dying To Get Married:
Oh wow! Congratulations on your six-month anniversary. Let’s quantify a half a year: a semester in college, half a season of network television, or a milestone for a sober chip.
I do understand that you want to make the right choice. But getting down on your knees this time will take on new meaning. Why the sense of urgency to rush through your relationship? Ask yourself why you need to be married? Is for love? Is it financial? Or is it to ensure your relationship remains exclusive?
Years ago, I was on the precipice of presenting my prenuptial agreement. Alcohol and domestic disputes colored my relationship like a giant tattoo. Let’s not dampen your mood with my emotional baggage. Even though, I had a Saks-sized bag of bullshit.
I think a year would be the perfect time to pop the question. And you can do it around you actual anniversary. The holidays have a way of enhancing relationships. You’re are on the precipice of many firsts: New Years and Valentine’s Day. I would get through that first.
But if you can’t wait to set the date. Then do it. This shift will change everything. Maybe there’s such a thing as a happy ending.
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